The thing, that is home.

 Most of us have a physical place that we call home. A standard roof plus walls that provides us shelter.  A place we retire at the end of the day, possibly with family, or spouses, or hopefully with pets, or just on our own. We all come back to this place hoping to unload our burdens, share laughs, shed tears, be with our loved ones, be at peace. We revel in the little moments that we cherish, watch our children grow, watch our pets do silly things, fight like cats and dogs only to forgive, forget and move on. 

Growing up, I have lived in quite a few places, Chennai (India), Saudi Arabia, Dubai(UAE) and now in Vancouver (Canada). Albeit a major portion of my life has been in Chennai. So, I guess I must call Chennai Home? But then I am married now, and I live in Vancouver. So, do I call Vancouver home? Disregarding what my passport says, what does my head/heart say?

I would gladly argue that a major portion of my life along with how its shaped me up to be, happened in Chennai and hence Chennai would be my choice of home. Of course, my family lives there along with the two most precious things to me- my pets. So clearly, Chennai is a winner. However, I think I have grown up and learned a lot over the past two years living in Canada and personally, I think I have changed considerably as a person. So, I am inclined towards claiming Vancouver to be my home.

But, here’s the funny thing. I visit this place called Buntzen lake every year in British Columbia. As I sit in front of the water there and drink in the view in all its glory, I think to myself, I’m home. When I finish reading my favorite book and let out a heavy sigh, I find home. When I go back home to Vancouver each weekend after a long week of work and take the first sip of my coffee on a Saturday morning, I think I am home. When I see my pets over a video call and feel the warmest glow spread in my heart, I think I am home. I see a few faces that matter most to me, I think I am home. I take a bite of the cheesiest pizza and relish every bit of it, I think I am home. I have an exhilarating workout and feel wonderfully spent at the end of it and think I am home. I could go on, but you get the picture.

I think tying home to a physical place where family exists is overrated. Please don’t get me wrong. I firmly believe in family above all! But let’s admit it. How many of us have had a fairytale childhood with the “perfect” family and have not seen any difficulties growing up and basically breezed through life? The lucky few of us who did, relate home to this. But that’s just my opinion. Lately, I have been a very opinionated person so throw me a bone over here and try opening your minds sans judgement, to the confessions of a restless soul.

“Home is where the heart is” cannot be a truer Phrase. Think of the examples I gave above. Its not a place or a person or a thing. I think the idea home is broad and is basically anything that allows you to be the most “YOU”, there is. So basically, it can be a place, a person, and a thing. Home, in my opinion is where we find peace of mind, are centered, and feel completely and unconditionally accepted. Where we can comfortably be ourselves without prying eyes and judgements. Funny thing, I say I “feel at home” when I do a lot of things. But I don’t think I’ve found my home yet. Right now, I can honestly say that the only place where I find home most, is in my pets- Neema and Tara. Is this because they love unconditionally and seem to come to me no matter what? No matter what I’ve done, how much I’ve screwed up, how many mistakes I’ve made, that would ideally be reprimanded and chided in every possible way, these two would just come up to me anyways and that would simply cease every form of pain, there is. They’d be so happy to see me because that’s all matters, that I return to them at the end of the day.

Let’s face it. We are humans. We err, we disappoint, we fail and fall short of expectations all the time. Naturally, there cannot be a world where there are no fights, quarrels, and misunderstandings. That is not reality and will not be a  balanced  world either. Bottom line, is that home should be more than an address. More than a Lover or food or a place or a book or even your pets. Home should be something that liberates you. I think we’re all searching for that. We may deny it, and this write up may not comply with the societal norms of what’s right and what’s wrong or beliefs in general. But seriously, do something that liberates you. Do something that gets you home! Cheers.

Food for thought.